By Stephanie Palazzo
Before the COVID-19 pandemic, I had a nice little routine working from home each day, just the dog and myself here in peace and quiet, while my kids were at school and my husband at work. Mid-March, my routine was thrown out the window and I went through a “grieving” process, if you will, for what had been.
For 14 years, I taught elementary school leaving voluntarily last year to try something new and work from home. Suddenly, I was being forced back into teaching, navigating distance learning with my very stubborn 2nd grader and less than motivated 7th grader.
Now I was balancing homeschool and my remote work, and it wasn’t easy. To top that off, my husband needed my office space for Zoom calls, which left me planning my work around his schedule. More people at home during the day meant more mess, so there was more chores and daily cleanup added to my plate, too. I was on the verge of losing it! I got stuck in a “woe is me” pattern because my life and my routine were upended, and I had no control over these changes. When my state announced that the kids wouldn’t be going back to school this year, I moped around for a few days. I wouldn’t get a break from my kids until August? I didn’t know if I could handle it. During this time, I heard the expression “give yourself grace.”
CONSISTENT
SELF CARE
Everybody needs a little here & there.
What is your preferred method of self-care?
What has made this time in our lives easier for you/your family?
“Giving myself grace” wasn’t something I had thought about previously. I was trying to keep up with work, homeschool, household responsibilities and thinking I had to be totally on top of all of it. The reality was that everyone was dealing with the same situations and frustrations, and I wasn’t alone. This was uncharted territory for all kinds of professions, lifestyles, etc. Once I started giving myself grace and taking care of myself, my attitude changed and things became more manageable.
Once I started giving myself grace and taking care of myself, my attitude changed and things became more manageable.
If I wasn’t taking care of myself, I wasn’t going to be any good for my company or my family. Self-care means different things for different people. For me, it means sitting on the back patio alone for a few minutes in the evenings to relax and clear my head. It means getting out of the house for a quick errand here and there to have some time and space to myself. I no longer stress about schoolwork – just do the best we can each day and take comfort in the fact that at least I have the background to be able to help my children.
I stopped worrying about too much screen time, and sure enough both kids created their own balance of screen time and outside play, as time went on. I learned to walk away and put myself in “timeout” when things got intense (usually an argument over schoolwork). I reminded myself “IT”S OK NOT TO BE OK” frequently.
Every family is different and what works for some doesn’t work for others. You need to find your own balance and determine what works best for your particular needs. I have learned in all of this – self-care is vital in this type of situation.
The future is unknown right now. Will our kids even go back to school in August? If they don’t, what will our daily routines look like? How can we keep balancing remote work and distance learning? All these unknowns create a lot of anxiety for me, as I’m sure it does others. With some self-care techniques already in place, whatever the future may bring, it can and will be easier to handle.
With a little self care and daily grace, you can create your own amazing work/life balance.
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Such a great post, completely relate! As soon as o lowered my own, unattainable standards, I felt much better about everything.
I felt like I was reading from my own journal. Thanks for posting and letting me know that we are all going through this together. I think taking a breath and knowing it’s not about being perfect all the time has helped. I did start doing breathing exercises with my apple watch when I start feeling stressed. I also listen to podcasts that make me happy but finding time by myself in a quiet place (ha) is the best therapy for me.
This is a wonderful post Stephanie! I can certainly relate, though I have 2 teenage boys instead of little ones. I have had to struggle through, and grieve the loss of my “me time”, and space to just be, without being needed. I enjoy starting my day with my yoga in the living room, and I really enjoy doing it without an audience. That is no longer my reality, as that is always the time that my huge boys are hungry and need to make food – in full view of my not so flattering contortions! Ahhhhh, humility at its best!
Beautiful, self-reflection and gentle reminder of receiving daily grace. I completely relate. Thank you, Stephanie!